Choose Joy

I have told you these things so that My joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.  This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. ~~Jesus the Christ

It doesn’t take much to make me content these days. A shaft of sunlight, a ripe piece of fruit, a smile or a hug can cause my heart overflow. Life is good and sweet and dear. People are mostly good and sweet and dear. What is right in front of me is just as it should be and, without question, I am happy.

It’s quite beautiful and miraculous actually when I consider, by comparison, the depths of my grief. There was a time when managing the stressors of life and the sadness over losing my child was unbearable. I couldn't see an end to the pain. How did this abiding contentment come about and when did I notice it was perhaps here to stay?

Here’s the thing, it didn’t happen overnight. I had to do some serious inner work and it took some time. I had to learn to accept the loss and change the way I was in relationship to our daughter who was no longer with us. I had to let go, surrender and remember what sacred teachings have told us for eons. Once I was able to let go, even a little, things began to be much easier and light slowly slipped in through the cracks.

Many of us in this country and the world are struggling with the pain that comes with change. It can be intense. We are resisting, fighting against ideas, symbols and structures that no longer serve us, rather than gracefully letting the new, better version of ourselves emerge. 

We are in perilous times, there is no doubt. The hatred and vitriol that is arising is ugly and scary and feels like unstable energy. Statues are falling and symbols of past belief systems are crumbling away. This always causes tension, fear and even violence.

I can however see through this to find the good. Can you? Just like a pretty yellow flower grows from a weed, something is flowering in us and from the bottom up. I have to believe we are blossoming into the humans we were created to be. We are looking less to the people we (sometimes blindly) trusted in the past and more to our (sacred) inner selves. This is also similar to how we grow into mature adults. 

In one episode of the Happy Healthy You! podcast I shared  that I attended a ten day silent retreat to practice meditation. In that podcast which you can listen to here, I talked about the unraveling that happens when we get still enough to notice the thoughts that constantly ramble around in our minds. Our teacher warned us that day two of the process would be particularly dangerous for us as we settled in to our practice. Some dropped out on that day as the intensity of their own mind chatter became overwhelming. What I observed in myself that day was a serious almost addictive tendency to let negative thoughts overtake others that would have been much more productive. As I released these thoughts from consciousness tears flowed. Fortunately I had a teacher to remind me that this day two phenomenon was perfectly normal and would pass. And it did. By day three a peaceful sense of well-being pervaded my mind and body as I continued to practice.

Learn to get in touch wth silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences. All events are blessings given to us to learn from. ~~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

This too will pass, as everything does. The Buddha reminded us that impermanence is a given. Nothing stays the same. 

No thing is sacred. Statues are not sacred. Even structures like churches are not sacred. It is the energy from people praying in them that creates a sacred space. We are sacred. All. Of. Us. And while we all carry a spark of the divine, we are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. In fact we are fatally flawed and that’s what makes us so darn interesting. We get pissed off about injustice. We get addicted to our beliefs and what makes us most comfy. Sometimes we do and say stupid things. We make no sense much of the time.  We are human.

To meet everything and everyone through stillness instead of mental noise is the greatest gift you can offer the universe. ~~Eckhart Tolle

What we have here is an opportunity to change for the better by using that sacred energy that emanates from stillness to become aware of what no longer serves our highest good. We can then let go of past ideas of separation and competition. We can choose to see each other with new eyes of compassion and love. (Hint: that’s a key to happiness.)

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”
~~Maya Angelou

Like it or not we are growing. And we can choose to grow together and blossom together or fight it kicking and screaming. The problem is, when we kick and scream, others can be hurt and that’s not cool. It’s OK to be angry but it’s not OK to hurt one another. 

Happiness, contentment, even joy is a choice. It’s a choice to take the path of growth through peaceful conflict resolution. What will you choose today?

Prayer: Help us see through the unreal to the real and love one another as You have loved us.

Affirmation: In the silence of my heart I choose joy.

Practice:  A short yoga practice to help move energy through the body. Yoga for Serenity.

Connie Bowman is an actress and yogi and author of Back to Happy a Journey of Hope, Healing and Waking Up. 

For more about Connie including her yoga classes and workshops, visit her website at www.conniebowman.com.