Resolutions

As we head into a whole new year and the celebration of our beautiful planet’s successful orbit around our sun, my mind turns to the concept of the passing of time. Isn’t time a human concept after all? Is age really just a number? And when do we start getting a pass on making resolutions?

My birthday was in December and a larger, more ominous number looms before me less than a year from now. Should I be concerned? I don’t really feel very concerned. I am more interested in my day to day happiness and my day to day mindful, creative, loving existence. It’s really difficult these days for me to plan anytime too far in the future. Good thing I’m not running a large corporation. A really good thing.

Becoming a yoga teacher has changed me. Losing a child has changed me. And perhaps growing older has changed me. For real my growing relationship with God has changed me. Sometimes I feel like I live in my own little world, but I kind of like it here. 

I rebel a little when people talk about the passing of time and the difficulty of growing older. Sure it’s hard on us physically, but emotionally and spiritually it’s way easier (and lots more fun) these days, in my experience anyway. What once felt like really hard challenges seem smaller with the perspective of age. I enjoy knowing, really knowing, that “this, too, shall pass”. Growing older is a privilege and doing it healthfully is a joy. 

As I ponder this new year and people are asking about my resolutions and goals, I find myself balking at this idea as well. Why must I plan and strategize and control and make bold statements about my year to come? 

I do have a trip coming up that I am pretty excited about. Thank you friends and husband for mostly planning the whole thing! I did find a yoga studio I want to visit while I am there. That’s something. I also have some ideas for new children’s books and perhaps another video like the one David Rowen produced for me to go with the book that came out last month. I want to keep teaching yoga and deepen my own practice. I want to continue to learn more about how the practice can interface with my spiritual practices of contemplation, prayer and meditation. I want to practice forgiveness and compassion wherever possible to heal wounds from the past. I want to be there for loved ones who need me and make more time to be truly present for them when asked to be. If acting and voice over jobs show up that seem fun, I look forward to them. They are always welcome challenges.

A couple of years ago I wrote down some goals in a New Year’s Day yoga class. I wrote that I wanted to work on three films that year. Funny, I did work on three films that year. Should have written four. Intentionality is powerful. I am not denying the power of goal setting and visualizing and focus and all that. I like flow. I know flow. I want to be in the flow all of the time. Or at least more of the time. Being in flow means I surrender to the mysterious forces that guide and empower me to move through life and love and work with grace and ease. In my first half of life I tried to control and manipulate and create my life according to my will. My ego believed it was in control and had quite a bit of power. 

Now that I am fully in my second act, the second half of life, I am more content to let things unfold as they want to. It’s more about Thy will over my will. I’m not being lazy, although this past week has been an enjoyable week of rest for me. I am surrendering to the flow and trusting that God’s got my back. She has proven time and time again that She does, so I am done. I am all in. She knows what is best for me and will guide my 2019 whether I plan anything or not. It’s all God and it’s all good. I just need to be open to guidance and be ready to act when the time is right.

When I consider the truth that on this New Year’s Eve Eve as I sit here writing in my kitchen on this computer, in my yoga pants (and my vest and hat - I just went for a run) that at my age I am happy and healthy and so fortunate to be in this life, I am acutely aware of the improbability of it all. And so grateful. So darn grateful that my parents, my sweet loving adorable parents, married almost 62 years now, came together in the nifty fifties, did the deed, sperm and ovum united, became cells that subdivided, then an embryo, a nervous system, a whole body that has been my home for all these years. It’s really pretty amazing to consider the enormity of it all, let alone the idea of the passage of time. 

That said, I have recently read an interesting book by Dan Pink entitled When about how to schedule your life. He shares interesting research findings about why mornings are probably best for a lot of things over afternoons (there are exceptions of course) and how to maximize productivity by planning your day around your “chromatype”. Find out if you are a lark or an owl by checking out this link to determine your circadian rhythm type. Avoid the dreaded “trough”, that time when energy levels bottom out for many reasons. It could save your life if you are having surgery in the afternoon in a hospital that doesn’t practice preventive measures to combat this dangerous phenomenon. Interesting stuff. In his book Pink describes how different people arrange their day to take advantage of optimum times for creativity. I am particular to Tchaikovsky’s daily routine: early waking, walking, breakfast, composing at the piano, a two hour afternoon walk, dinner, light practice, bed. I don’t play or compose like him but I will have to work on my own daily routine as the days get longer. I do believe in getting sunshine when we can during the sunnier winter days. Maybe I will practice the piano more. Thanks Tchaikovsky. Can I call you Pyotr?

Time is a human concept perhaps, but we do have to respect the changing of seasons and the movements of the planets and stars. They have a marked effect on our physical bodies and our psyches. Sensitivity to the external world is part of our human experience. Living in more harmony with the natural world is an intention I am putting out there, especially in this second half of life. To kick this off I am excited to share a Happy Healthy You! podcast, co-hosted with my daughter Caroline Bowman, about living a more zero waste kind of life. We do produce so much waste. I do anyways. I want to do better. She introduced me to her friend and fellow Kinky Boots castmate Julia McClellen who is extraordinarily and contagiously passionate about the subject. We both learned a lot and it was fun to co-host with her. Watch for that podcast toward the end of the month.

OK, so maybe I do have a few resolutions or intentions for 2019.  Whatever. But I am still going to go with the flow, be in the moment and up the faith factor. I trust you will do what's right for you when considering the opportunity for a fresh start that this new year brings.

Whatever your relationship with time, and I am sure it is just perfect for you, I wish you the happiest of New Years, the healthiest of every year from my loving heart to yours. Keep on living your best, most authentic life from one moment to the next and you can’t go wrong. And if you need a little encouragement don’t hesitate to reach out to me or someone else you trust.

We are here for one another. Trust me, I am old. I know these things.

Namaste,

Connie

Connie Bowman is an actress, author, host of the podcast Happy Healthy You! and yoga teacher who teaches at various places around Howard County, MD. For more about her visit www.conniebowman.com.

Traditions

The Christmas season has so many traditions attached to it, the familiar carols being one of them. I know most of them well as a professional caroler for more than fifteen years. Dressed in traditional Victorian costumes quartets traveled, soprano, alto, tenor, and bass, to private parties, public celebrations, grand foyers of government and corporate buildings. We sang outside in cold, wind, rain, and snow and inside senior centers and assisted living facilities where the temperatures were toasty warm.

A couple of years into my retirement from this gracious a cappella group I look back with fondness on the memories of singing these beloved carols for thousands of (mostly) grateful audiences.

Sometimes we would come upon people, like at a mall or shopping center, taking them by surprise. Seeing the delight in their eyes was gratifying as they softened into the spirit of what we were offering. Oftentimes people were moved to tears hearing the familiar melodies. Many people sang right along with us over the years, even the souls in the nursing homes whose memories had long faded but could from somewhere deep inside retrieve the words to these carols.

What is it about a tradition that is so comforting?

My daughter and son-in-law live in a primarily Jewish Orthodox section of New York City. There is a beautiful synagogue on the corner opposite their 1928 apartment building. Many of the people who live in their building are elderly immigrant Jews who keep kosher and practice the traditions of old. They have their ways and they are staunch defenders of their traditions.

I find it comforting that my young newlywed children are surrounded by this community with rich cultural and religious values and traditions. They are slowly getting to know their neighbors and their customs and finding an appreciation for the sweetness and gentleness of their practices. There is respect and honor and a genuine curiosity there. 

As we enter into this last week of holiday preparation and shopping fervor I wonder if you have taken a moment to appreciate the traditions from your past that have given you comfort. Perhaps it’s not the carols for you.  If not, what brings you comfort and joy during the holiday season? Is it a particular dish once lovingly prepared by a beloved grandmother? What do you know of that dish? How is it woven into your story and heritage?

At a Thompson family cookie exchange last week I found out that my grandfather, my father's father, loved kippers for breakfast on Christmas morning. I didn’t know much about the fish that my grandmother soaked overnight in a pan of water on the counter of their sprawling kitchen in Maxton, North Carolina. My grandfather was of Scottish descent and eating those kippers no doubt brought him comfort and a connection to his ancestry. Oh, and grits. We always had grits. In that same conversation my cousin, the senior of our group, reminded me that when my grandmother passed away the only memento my father asked for was the double boiler in which my Granny prepared the grits for breakfast. We forgo the kippers, but each Christmas morning my Dad is in charge of fixing a big pot of southern-style butter-drenched grits.

In a conversation on the Happy Healthy You! podcast last week I spoke with author Anna Gatmon, Ph.D. about bringing more spirituality and meaning into our holiday celebrations. She offers some great ideas for gift giving and meal sharing for those of us who appreciate tradition and meaning and memory-making. Take a listen here and let me know if any of these ideas resonate with you. Perhaps you have your own ideas to share. 

May you enjoy this upcoming holiday and perhaps find comfort, joy, and peace in celebrating traditions that serve you and your loved ones. Maybe you will even belt out a few carols while you finish wrapping those gifts.

Merry Christmas. 

Peace, Shalom, Namaste,

Connie

Connie Bowman is an actress, author, host of the podcast Happy Healthy You! and yoga teacher who teaches at various places around Howard County, MD. For more about her visit www.conniebowman.com.