Saturday, June 5, 2010

What a week! Or, what is God trying to tell me?

Well, this week I had a couple of nice gigs, hosting and voiceing a video and working again on ABC 7 as Host of another health related phone bank. The phone bank allows viewers to call in with questions about a particular topic. Both went really well and were a lot of fun. Meanwhile, I was scheduled for a couple of things that I had been rather dreading - the mammogram which was a couple of months overdue and gum surgery. The mammogram is always terrifying to me. I get so mad at myself for being so frightened because so many women have actually had to deal with the big C and I admire their courage so much. Having been called back for calcification watch on the left breast, I knew there was something to look at. Thankfully (maybe) I had a very diligent radiologist who looked at my films and she wanted to take a closer look by ultrasound at the other breast. The two women in the room (tech and radiologist) agreed that I had dense breasts and the area of concern was normal for me. We'll be watching that one though. Ugh! After the ultrasound the radiologist casually mentioned that we ought to biopsy the left breast because she saw more calcifications. Trying to assure me that she had been able to see them (the calcifications, which are normal to see on a woman's mammogram) pretty clearly and they looked benign, but just to be sure because there seemed to be more of them, we should biopsy. She went on to explain the procedure and how routine it was, blah, blah, blah. Still, it is scary and so now I am going through the process that so many women before me have been through of trying to stay positive while realistically looking at the possibilities. I feel that the trick is to stay in the moment, but what a tough thing to do.
So here I sit with puffy cheeks from my gum surgery and my normal response to stress like this would be to go for a run or get a massage but I can do neither. I guess I will have to sit and meditate which is what I have been called to do of late but have found it difficult. So, what IS God trying to tell me this week? With two health-realted freelance jobs and two medical procedures to deal with I can't help but think it's just time to pay some attention to my health instead of taking it for granted.
My goal through all of this is just what I told my "viewers" in my Oprah audition. To go through the changes and come out on the other side the better for it. I hope I can take my own advice. Stay tuned.


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