Humility and Happiness

These days I am slightly obsessed with Father Richard Rohr, a Franciscan friar ordained to the priesthood in the Roman Catholic Church in 1970. He is an internationally known inspirational speaker and has published numerous recorded talks and books, Yes, And...: Daily Meditations, Immortal Diamond: The Search for Our True Self, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, The Naked Now: Learning to See as the Mystics See, and Eager to Love: The Alternative Way of Francis of Assisi.  He has a new book coming out this month that I cannot wait to get my hands on entitled The Divine Dance. Here’s the description on his Amazon page:

“What if changing our perception of God has the potential to change everything?

God is not what you think. Visions of an angry, distant, moral scorekeeper or a supernatural Santa Claus handing out cosmic lottery tickets to those who attend the right church or say the right prayer dominate our culture. For many others, God has become irrelevant or simply unbelievable. In The Divine Dance, Fr. Richard Rohr (with Mike Morrell) points readers to an unlikely opening beyond this divinity impasse: the at–times forgotten, ancient mystery of the Trinity―God as utterly one, yet three.

Drawing from Scripture, theology, and the deepest insights of mystics, philosophers, and sages throughout history, Fr. Rohr presents a compelling alternative to aloof and fairytale versions of God:

One God, belovedly in communion, as All–Vulnerable, All–Embracing, and All–Given to you and me.

The Divine Dance makes accessible and practicable the Christian tradition’s most surprising gift…

God as Community...as Friendship...as Dance.

Are you ready to join in?”

Provocative right? I know. I will join in Richard! I think I love him. (Insert Partridge Family song.)

I really wish I could get him on the podcast. Hmmmmm…

My favorite tea mug. (Pier One Imports)

So I ask you, what do you think it takes for we humans to be happy? I don’t mean just run of the mill, happy. I mean really deep down to the bones happy in every way, no matter what’s going on around us. 

This seems to be a question on the minds of a whole lot of us, based on the number of books out there on the subject. The numbers of people suffering with addiction is staggering. Depression is an epidemic. And the deep dissatisfaction that is manifesting in violence on our streets is sadly an everyday thing on our mainstream media.

According to a 2013 Harris poll just 33% of Americans report being happy and that was down two points from the 2009 study. 

What is it we are missing? I ask this all the time in different ways to some of our guests on the Happy Healthy You! podcast. My basic thesis upon starting the podcast was that happiness arises from a healthy balance of mind or mental health, bodily health and wellness and regular spiritual practice and connection. I still firmly believe this after three years of doing the podcast, maybe even more. But perhaps I need to dig a little bit deeper.

So, for my yoga teachings and for some of the podcasts I am going to dig in and look more deeply at some of the ways we get in the way of our happiness and some of the more specific ways we can enhance it. I like going deeper. In fact I rarely enjoy being on the surface. It’s intense to be me. Maybe I will even lighten things up with some meditation and prayer. 

Sounds like a party to me. Woo hoo! You in?

Lets talk about humility and happiness, shall we? What is the connection? How can awareness of our prideful, egoic natures help us find more satisfaction and ultimately happiness, maybe even joy? Lots of people have had opinions on the subject.

First we should look to the experts for a definition of the word humility. Wikipedia's an expert, right? OK, sure why not. Here’s what whomever cared enough about humility to write about it there: 

Humility is the quality of being humble. In a religious context this can mean a recognition of self in relation to God or deities, acceptance of one's defects, and submission to divine grace as a member of a religion. Outside of a religious context, humility is defined as the self-restraint from excessive vanity, and can possess moral and/or ethical dimensions.Humility, in various interpretations, is widely seen as a virtue in many religious and philosophical traditions, often in contrast to narcissism, hubris and other forms of pride.

Back in 1918 Rabbi Shalom Dover delivered a challenging discourse on the subject of pride or ego and happiness. According to Rabbi Dover, "...the channel for receiving joy from above is a sense of nothingness before your Creator. Wherever there is that nothingness, joy shines from above. And wherever there is a keen feeling of self, there is no joy.

In yoga we practice humbleness by allowing the postures and the breath to transform us in mind, body and spirit. We empty ourselves and the yoga does it’s magic.  In the final relaxation pose, savasana, or corpse pose, we surrender the ego and let the practice sink in. Yogis believe that, at its core, humility is the fundamental respect towards all living beings, and the acknowledgment that in our essence we are all divine beings with the inherent capacity for greatness. Practicing humility dispels our egoic mind, purifies our soul and produces true knowledge and wisdom.

Child's pose is a nice posture to practice humility and surrender.

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” 

― Richard Rohr

Anyway back to Richard. May I call you Richard? (That’s me pretending to interview him on the podcast). Richard Rohr is singlehandedly bringing thousands of people back to the church with his somewhat radical (not for me) views of God, religion and spirituality. He’s an embracer. He says “yes, and…” instead of no. He is open and honest and awesome and above all, humble. You might not get the humble thing at first glance because he’s pretty confident about his beliefs and his teachings. He knows Jesus is “the man” and his theological expertise is beyond impressive. I think what draws me most to Richard Rohr is his realness. In his writings and books he gets to the root of who we are in such a way that I believe he and I are having the same essential struggles. He’s genuine, loving and very, very human. Yet he’s a Catholic priest. Now if’s that’s not enough to get one’s knickers in a knot, I'm not sure what would.

What does Richard have to say about humility? Here’s one thing:

“People who’ve had any genuine spiritual experience always know that they don’t know. They are utterly humbled before mystery. They are in awe before the abyss of it all, in wonder at eternity and depth, and a Love, which is incomprehensible to the mind.” 

But there’s lots more. There’s also this: 

Practicing yoga at the Monastery in Santa Barbara. Humbling to be there.

“The only people who grow in truth are those who are humble and honest. This is traditional Christian doctrine and is, in effect, the maxim of Alcoholics Anonymous. Without those two qualities—humility and honesty—we just don’t grow. If we try to use religion to aggrandize the self, we will end up just the opposite: proud and dishonest. Humility and honesty are really the same thing. A humble person is simply someone who is naturally honest about their own truth. You and I came along a few years ago; we’re going to be gone in a few more years. The only honest response to such a mystery is humility.”

I agree Richard. Humility is essentially being honest with oneself and others. Kind of the same thing. There is nothing to hide because we have laid down the ego. But how does this humble honesty help with our happiness?

I think what Richard would say is that happiness is not something we can actively chase. It is something that happens to us almost spontaneously when we least expect it. And it can arise out of a practice of humility and surrender. 

“Happiness is an inside job” is a quote of Richard’s. It’s also one of mine. Uh oh! I wrote my book Back to Happy in 2014 before I had read anything of Richard’s and I wrote the same thing. Sorry Richard! I didn’t know you yet. Totally accidental. Or was it? Maybe we were tapped into the same wisdom. That’s a humbling thought.

There’s another benefit of humility, with it, creativity flows like a river. We can just get out of the way and trust that what’s coming through comes from a higher source. And that’s the essence of happiness. It’s a gift from God and we might not deserve it or understand it but there we are being served up heaping healing helping of love from the Creator. Again, pretty humbling if you ask me. 

Oh yeah, Richard said this: 

“Faith does not need to push the river because faith is able to trust that there is a river. The river is flowing. We are in it.”

Faith and humility is a no-brainer. When I lost my daughter and life was almost too much to bear, humility was the only thing I had left to offer God. I write about this in Back to Happy. One day in my living room I literally got down on my knees and proclaimed that I couldn't do this grief thing on my own and asked God for help. It was humbling. It was surrender. It was the last best thing. Faith was the fruit of that surrender, for sure.

“Most of us were taught that God would love us if and when we change. In fact, God loves you so that you can change. What empowers change, what makes you desirous of change is the experience of love. It is that inherent experience of love that becomes the engine of change.” 

                     ― Richard Rohr

Love. It’s the happiness secret. It’s our deepest longing as humans - to be loved and to love. We need love, maybe now more than ever. We also need humility more than ever. (Can you say election year ickiness.) We need to be so humble that we love each other as equals - all of us - no exceptions. 

“Until we learn to love others as ourselves, it's difficult to blame broken people who desperately try to affirm themselves when no one else will.” 

― Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life

And what is true intimacy without humility? We bare our souls before our beloveds and take the chance that we are still lovable to them. We love with all our hearts and hope and pray our hearts will not be broken. It’s scary stuff but to live fully as humans we must take the risk.

And yet our hearts do get broken. And we do miss the mark here and there. And we get caught up in the false reality of the world and believe the hype. But we have another choice. 
We can practice humility. We can be real with each other. We can trust that God has our back.  And we can love with no exception. 

I cannot wait to read Richard Rohr’s new book The Divine Dance. I hope you will check it out too. I’d love to hear what you think.

And now for a short practice:

Sit comfortably and feel the support of the seat or mat beneath you.  Sit tall from root to crown, shoulders back and down and neck slightly tucked. Allow the eyes to gently close, the brow to soften and all tension to drain from the body. Be at peace. Allow the breath to flow in and out slowing down more with each round of inhales and exhales. Slowing down. Notice any thoughts that might be coming up for you and just let them be, noticing them but not giving them story or energy. Simply experience you as awareness right this very moment. Take a few long deep breaths.

Now, bring to mind a mildly challenging issue that is going on in your life. Keep it simple and not too difficult. Bring it to awareness but don't build any kind of story around it. Just notice the subtle shift in your body as this challenge is brought to light. Where do you feel it? Wherever you notice an impact from your challenge imagine a golden white light forming, starting in that area and spinning and growing until it fills the entire body and extends outward to circle around the physical body. Notice how this feels. Just notice. Now imagine the challenging issue forming into a ball. Notice the color of the ball, the size, the weight. See the white light forming a circle around the ball and circling faster and faster around it until it gets smaller and smaller and finally disappears into the ethers. Notice your response as the challenge is released. Do you notice a shift in the mind? In the body? Be really honest about what you notice. Try to let go of any expectation and just see what comes through for you with respect to the issue you chose. Let go. Humbly be grateful for whatever comes up.

May you be happy. May all those you love be happy. May all beings be happy, healthy and humble.

Blessings and Namaste,

Connie

Tremors in the Universe

I just love talking to people who find ways to be happy even in the face of dire circumstances.

Robert Baittie, Ted speaker and author of Tremors in the Universe talks here about his experience with a diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease and how it was really his miracle. Prepare to be inspired.

XO

Your Message to the World

“ Nothing that I can do will change the structure of the universe. But maybe, by raising my voice I can help the greatest of all causes—goodwill among men and peace on earth.”  ~ Albert Einstein.

What is it you have to say? What is on your heart? Why are you here? All of these questions point to your purpose, your passion, your service to the world. 

Three years ago I embarked on a little experiment I created for myself. I started the Happy Healthy You! podcast in an effort to discipline myself with a daunting weekly deadline and hone some deeper interviewing skills. 

“The Goddess is in the questions."    ~~Gloria Steinem

Where did this start? I suppose it started with my interview with Gloria Steinem. Back when I was fresh out of college I was working in public relations and had the opportunity to work with Gloria on a promotion and fundraiser for the Ms. Foundation for Education and Communication. Gloria was great. When I made the call to her office to ask if she was interested in participating, I got an immediate and resounding “yes!” The next day I found myself sitting in her office at Ms. Magazine in New York City as she went through her Rolodex to find a celebrity to join us for our promo. First, she called Alan Alda. He was busy the day of our event so she next contacted Loretta Swit, “Hot Lips Houlihan” from the hit show Mash. She was in. In seven days we created an event that brought more women into the doors of Freestate Raceway in Laurel, Maryland where I worked. The regular customers didn't know what hit them that day as feminists from the area flocked through the gates to see Gloria Steinem and Loretta Swit ride in a sulky behind a racehorse, competing for charity. Gloria writes about this in her new book, My Life on the Road, and even mentions my name on page 196. She uses my married name of Bowman (my maiden name is Thompson) but that’s OK. I love her.

I write about this event because back in 1982 when my girl Gloria and I worked together we were able to raise some needed money for the new Ms. Foundation which helped women and girls with educational pursuits and promoted advocacy for women. Though we only had seven days to prepare and promote, the promotion was a success and Gloria promised that if I ever needed a favor, she was there for me. What? Crazy fun stuff happens in life. Thirty years later my producer and friend Scott Morgan and I were working on another project and looking for people to interview and I recalled Gloria’s promise. I sent a quick email to request an interview and again she responded with a resounding “yes!” 

Although my project with Scott didn’t pan out as planned, Interviewing Gloria inspired me to create the Happy Healthy You! podcast. You never know where one thing or another will lead. The thing I learned from GS is just to say “yes” and go from there. One step at a time, things unfold almost magically when we do this. 

“Follow your bliss.

If you do follow your bliss,

you put yourself on a kind of track

that has been there all the while waiting for you,

and the life you ought to be living

is the one you are living.

When you can see that,

you begin to meet people

who are in the field of your bliss,

and they open the doors to you.

I say, follow your bliss and don't be afraid,

and doors will open

where you didn't know they were going to be.

If you follow your bliss,

doors will open for you that wouldn't have opened for anyone else.”

        ~~Joseph Campbell

Like Gloria Steinem and even little ol’ me, we all have a message to speak to the world. It can be large or small, quiet or loud. I have learned so much from the many people I have interviewed on the Happy Healthy You! podcast, some of them famous and some of them not so much. The common theme among them all is that they use their voices to share their special gift with others unapologetically.

Many people I spoke with, like Mary Sidwani, Ph.D. went through traumatic life-changing events. Others were healers and helpers like the woman who shared my name, Connie Bowman. She brought me to tears with her story of her struggle with addiction and her fierce but tender love for her pit bulls whom she is on a mission to protect. About halfway through the three years, I decided to share my own story with the world and my book Back to Happy was written. I felt vulnerable sharing my grief and loss with others but was bolstered by the many brave guests who spoke to me on the podcast.

In retrospect, I am pleased with the Happy Healthy You! experiment. I was able to get out a weekly show which is quite a bit of work. Creating this discipline has spilled into other areas of my life such as meditating every day, eating better, and even becoming a yoga teacher. 

A lot can happen when we use our voices. We need to say “yes”. We need to share our stories with others. In doing so, we not only can help others but we can also open doors for ourselves we never expected to open.

Namaste friends and thanks for listening!

XO,

Connie

Waiting for Easter

“The waiting is the hardest part.”

  ~~Tom Petty

Goddess knows, this can be true. The waiting is just so darn hard. As we sit on this Easter eve and the anniversary of the birth of my daughter Meghan whose death I write about in my book, Back to Happy,  I am pondering the season of Lent and the idea of resurrection. 

We do so love a good resurrection story.

Star Wars and The Matrix films (also a lot of American musical theatre) gave us some great modern day examples to work with. We love that resolution and that feeling of completion and optimism that a good strong happy ending has to offer. After a season of suffering, there is redemption. 

In a good piece of music there is variety in the score. There is harmony and dissonance and ultimately, resolution as the composer takes us home and allows us to sit with those last few notes and sense the finality, the closure. We are taken on a journey that touches our soul through the senses of the body.

In the Christian tradition of Lent, we are charged to examine the things in our lives that distract us from our connection to God and remove them if possible. We are called to repent and humble ourselves before the Lord with the knowledge that we are made from the dust of the Earth and destined to return there. It’s pretty brutal really. In essence we are to look squarely in the face at our mortality and see how it can inform us about our lives.

As we work toward Easter there is a tendency to rely on the resurrection story to unfold in an expected way. We know it’s coming so we don’t really worry too much. If we are optimists by nature, this idea of resurrection is ingrained into our psyche. We trust all will work out in the end, the resolution will come and we will find joy again. In the Jesus story the message is clear; have faith and even after the darkest of times the light is sure to shine again.

But waiting for the light to reappear can be really difficult. In Back to Happy, I write about healing from grief and loss and finding happiness again. The grieving process is a journey for sure. It takes time, and requires attention and intention to move through it with relative ease. Everyone must find their own way. There were days when I thought I would not ever feel joy again. The light at the end of the tunnel was often nowhere to be found. 

Much like grief, in addiction and recovery there is a process that must take place for the brain to rewire itself and, like grief, the process must run its course for it to be effective. In the waiting, if there is not promise of a final resolution, hope can be lost and despair can set in. Without the example of others who have traveled down the path of recovery successfully, addicts have little to hold onto during the recovery period. This is why the twelve step programs are so effective.  There is companionship for the waiting period, guides for the journey.  I have recorded several podcasts about addiction. Find them here.

When Happy Healthy You! podcast guest Mary Sidhwani was diagnosed with cancer, she had to face her own mortality. It was frightening for her as she spoke about in the interview. She was humbled and forced to reexamine her life in a deeper way. As a psychotherapist she knew she needed a shift in perception in order for her to deal with the challenge of cancer and to heal from the trauma of the diagnosis. 

How can we use the resurrection story in our lives to keep us moving toward the light, toward our eventual healing and also help us with the waiting? In her podcast, Dr. Sidwani gives us some great tips for dealing with the “shock and awe” of a trauma. In Back to Happy I list nine (hopefully) practical tips for moving through grief. There are so many other inspirational books, support groups, religious practices and healing modalities to help us move more gracefully through the period of waiting. The season of Lent offers its own wisdom for moving through dark times back into the light of resurrection.

During Lent we are tasked with the waiting. But we are to wait with a purposeful nature. We are to wait upon God, having removed from our life anything that might deter or distract us from divine presence. Sure we give up chocolate if the craving of it keeps us from thinking less about God and more about the hershey bar. But even more, we give up the ego addictions that keep us from forgiveness, charity and love. We are to accept the eventuality our own death with faith, knowing that even in that, we are redeemed, re-birthed, resurrected. Lent is waiting - on steroids.

Make your own the mind of Christ Jesus: Who, being in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped. But he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, becoming as human beings are; and being in every way like a human being, he was humbler yet, even to accepting death, death on a cross. 

                 ~~Philippians 2:3-8, Jerusalem Bible

Lent is a practice and I liken it to yoga. If we approach every yoga practice with a beginners mind, we are open to what the practice has to offer on any given day.  In tough poses we are asked to be with what is, tight muscles and all, and with each breath to be present to our divinity. When we come to Lent with a beginners mind, truly empty of expectation and open to whatever it has to teach us, we are reminding ourselves to wait well with purpose. We empty to make room for more light with the hope of healing, rebirth and resurrection. 

Namaste and Happy Easter!

The Value of Retreat

"In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion."
                                   ~Albert Camus


When I turned 50, I treated myself to a women’s retreat in the mountains of Vermont. I didn't know anyone else who was going and I had never, ever done anything like this. I had been a wife and mom for so many years and was primarily focused on the needs of my family so the idea of taking time for myself in this way had never really occurred to me. But as I reached this milestone birthday, I started wondering where my life was going now that my parenting skills were no longer needed in the same way. I started searching for something that would shake me up a bit and maybe be just a little scary - you know, scary enough to give me a little kick in the pants. A women’s retreat seemed to be just the ticket. It was, I believed, just what I needed to celebrate my entrance into the second half (hopefully) of my life and give me some inspiration to create new and exciting things for myself. 

The experience proved to be this and so much more. Overcoming the mild anxiety I felt about traveling alone, meeting all new people and trying something new (in this case mountain biking) gave me a new feeling of confidence and independence. The new friends I made taught me so much as each woman on that retreat had a story, reminding me to have compassion and love for myself and others. The challenging (really, really challenging) mountain biking reminded me that I was capable of so much more than I was giving myself credit for and I was inspired to add some new things to my daily routine once home. 

That retreat opened the door to many more adventures, solo and with friends, and I wished I hadn’t waited so long to take the first one. Since then I have done yoga retreats, spa retreats, silent meditation retreats, running retreats and the list goes on… I may be a little obsessed. In all seriousness though I am convinced of the value of taking time to do this for reminding me about my vision for my life and helping  reshape myself into the woman I want to be. Each time I have come back home with new information about myself, spiritual insight, greater confidence and healing benefits as well. 

Retreat. The word itself connotes turning away from that which is assaulting or threatening. To retreat is to step away from the fray, the chaos, the battle, and return to a sense of safety and peace. To “treat” ourselves with renewal, reconnection and relaxation.

We all need retreat from the world from time to time. A good, well-planned retreat can give us that peace, that sense of restoration that gets us back to our center and reminds us of our purpose here on the planet. A good retreat takes us back to our true selves. It’s healthy for body, mind and spirit. Especially spirit. Retreat is essential for us if we are dedicated to living our spiritual truth. But we must first find our own personal best way to achieve the desired results.

Retreats can take so many forms. A day retreat at home can be restorative as can a week-long getaway. Whatever the format and location, the important thing is to unplug from the day to day routine and find time to relax, reboot and reconnect with yourself. There are so many opportunities and ways to do this. Simply taking a day to stay home, unplugging from all technology, taking time for contemplation, meditation and self-care is one way to do it. It’s affordable and can be great for getting back to our center. With a little planning, the day can be filled with healthy food, rest and activities that help bring us back to ourselves. A suggested schedule might go something like this: wake-up, stretch and/or yoga, healthy breakfast, meditation and/or prayer, journaling, walk in nature, vision boarding, light lunch, self-massage, bath with aroma therapy, nap, yoga, breath-work, meditation, light supper, deep listening to sacred music and reflection, snack of herbal tea and fruit and nuts, guided meditation, sleep. This is just a suggestion. There are so many ways to customize your personal time away.

Doesn’t that sound delicious? Now, planning your personal retreat will be up to you. You will need to have healthy meals and snacks  at the ready as well as any journaling and vision boarding  materials, bath salts or oils you might like, etc. It’s a good idea to have everything planned ahead of time so there is little for the mind to think about. All of the details are taken care of so that you are best able to relax, let go and be open to receive any inspiration that wants to come in. The conscious mind can take a rest and the unconscious which really runs the show most of the time gets a chance to speak up. We become aware of the repetitive thoughts that consume our mind and keep us from achieving our goals and truly being happy.

If at all possible, do take a retreat where everything is planned for you and you have little to do but show up. It’s really a nice thing to do for yourself and I highly recommend it. The advantage of attending a retreat where the schedule is set, the food is prepared and you can relax and let go is that you are free to just focus on yourself. What a concept huh? In my experience, this kind of retreat is the best way to really release the pressure that can build up from everyday life. Sometimes all it takes is getting to a new location, seeing new things and letting go of daily routines to bring us back home to ourselves.

There are so many great retreat ideas out there. Just do a little research and find the one that works best for you, your schedule and your needs. Perhaps a visit to a spiritual center or monastery is in order to get you reconnected to the God of your understanding. These types of retreats can be designed for your personal journey or can be a group experience and can be quite affordable. There is also the added advantage of spiritual direction at many of these retreats that is attractive to some. If you want to do yoga, there are lots of great retreat options out there for you. If you’re a foodie, take a cooking retreat and learn a few new tricks in the kitchen. Nowadays, the opportunities are literally endless. Just do your homework.

Of course, I am quite partial to a retreat I have planned in June with my good friend Julie Reisler, the awesome coach and empowerment specialist. Julie has been featured on many of the Happy Healthy You! podcasts and is such a fun and inspiring human being. We decided earlier this year that we wanted to bring together a group of women and provide the opportunity for them to not only relax and have fun, but also to reconnect with joy in their lives. And, as Julie says in this week’s podcast, take it back home and “spread it around like peanut butter!” 

I love that!  As women, we are the “spreaders of joy” for those we love.  But we can’t spread anything unless our own tanks are full first. We do so much for others, we must take care to first nurture ourselves or we risk burning out and even worse, negatively impacting our health. We know you want to be the best you that you can be. For Julie and me, that means staying joyful and happy and healthy. We want to be the best versions of ourselves so we can serve others and also be an inspiration for others to be their best selves. A rising tide lifts all boats after all.

So, please come with us in June and we will help you reconnect with that best version of yourself with some well-planned, joyful activities. You won’t have to lift a finger, just get yourself there and we will take over from that point. Here are the important details. For more information, please contact Julie or me. We’d love to talk to you about Joy Camp 2016!

Join us for 

JOY CAMP 2016! 

June 5 - 8 

Scottsdale, AZ 

Picture this: You. At an extraordinary women’s retreat. At the luxurious iconic boutique Hotel Valley Ho. This June. All designed to have you transformed (with way more joy going on) from the inside out. 

Here’s what we promise:
* loads of joy
* sunrise + nightcap yoga
* make your own mala beads * meditation 

* hikes on some of the most gorgeous trails * delicious food
* relaxing spa treatments
* personalized barefoot fitness training 

* workshops on purpose, passion + presence
* group + private sessions with a renowned medium * 1:1 private coaching
* time to chill your buns + relax 

Your hosts, Julie Reisler + Connie Bowman, are ALL about finding more joy and helping you do that in the most delightful way. Relax, reboot and reconnect with your beautiful joyful self. 

Contact: connie@conniebowman.com or julie@juliereisler.com to hold your space. Space is limited. 

EARLY BIRD RATES + DEETS: 

$1450 single room || $1250 double room
Wanna extend your relaxation retreat? Come three days early and stay late for just $136/night (typically $300+/night; exclusive of taxes and room charges). 

    

Pricing includes: three nights at the Valley Ho iconic hotel, most meals and healthy snacks (one dinner on your own), yoga and meditation, group workouts, mala bead making, hiking, wellness workshops and a gift swag bag. Price goes up on March 1, 2016. 

Reserve your spot NOW with a $100 deposit. For additional special JOY CAMP rate and spa reservations, reserve soon! Full amount due May 1st, 2016. 

With boundless joy, 

Julie + Connie 

Happy Open Heart Day!

What does it mean to have an open heart? To lead from the heart? 

We talk about this in yoga. We do these awesome chest openers to open the space around the heart. Physically the poses stretch that area, allowing for expansion of the tight muscles, tendons and ligaments that cause our shoulders to bow forward. They are great for that purpose. The time spent on computers and in cars driving can wreak havoc with our posture. Working out with weights often leads to the same issue if there’s more of an emphasis on chest work than back. That's why, physically,  it's a good idea to come to the mat and work on heart openers.

Emotionally, opening the heart can be scary. An open heart means we have to feel. We feel the love and the joy. We also feel the hard stuff. After my daughter died I thought it might be a good idea to try a support group to make sure I was properly managing the grief thing. So off I went to my first Compassionate Friends meeting. I write about this in my book Back to Happy. It was good to be in a group of people going through the same process of healing that I was. At the same time, I was having a hard enough time dealing with my own sadness, let alone a whole room of suffering people.

Truth was, my heart was cracked wide open when I lost my daughter. The grief I was experiencing had blasted through a wall of protection that had been there for years. I was vulnerable, so sad and ill prepared to handle the immensity of emotion that was flowing through my system. And I was pregnant! I had to back off of those meetings for a while to protect my heart a bit from the new sensations of compassion and empathy that comes with a heart that opens in this sudden and exaggerated way.

Now contrast this with the opening of the heart that comes with a new love. Whoa! It’s intense and wonderful and light and lovely and all those good things. Suddenly the world is all beautiful and everyone is kind and loving. Feeling the heart as it opens in this way can be just as intense as the other way, only profoundly more enjoyable. It can make us giddy and reckless and prone to stupid decisions if we’re not careful.

Opening the heart in whatever way it happens is inevitable because we’re human. We practice this on the mat so that when it happens, and it will happen, we can be balanced about it. On the mat we feel sensations and we can notice them without fear. It’s the fear that blocks the open heart and creates those walls of protection that we create for ourselves.

Ultimately, we want to lead from the heart and be open to the love that is always there. We want to be ready to welcome new love and to say goodbye with grace and peace and love when the time comes. And those times will come. But it’s scary to walk around with all that love right there out in front for all to see. Lots of folks have tried it (Jesus, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King to name a few) and sometimes it doesn’t go so well. But like these love masters, there’s something in us that keeps us coming back for more. Eventually we can get there, but it takes practice, sometimes a lifetime’s worth of practice.

With an open heart we can forgive easily because we are intimate with pain. With an open heart we can fill up with joy and peace and love and ALL those good things with no restraints or restrictions.  Our love tanks are somehow bigger, holding even more love. And they overflow, spilling love everywhere we go. Love spills over. And it’s not a mess we ever have to clean up!

My prayer for you this Valentine’s Day is that you will allow that beautiful heart to open, as slowly or as quickly as you feel ready.  Let it open to the beautiful and the happy and the sad and even the scary. An open heart is so lovely. An open heart is awake. An open heart is free.

XO