Resolutions

As we head into a whole new year and the celebration of our beautiful planet’s successful orbit around our sun, my mind turns to the concept of the passing of time. Isn’t time a human concept after all? Is age really just a number? And when do we start getting a pass on making resolutions?

My birthday was in December and a larger, more ominous number looms before me less than a year from now. Should I be concerned? I don’t really feel very concerned. I am more interested in my day to day happiness and my day to day mindful, creative, loving existence. It’s really difficult these days for me to plan anytime too far in the future. Good thing I’m not running a large corporation. A really good thing.

Becoming a yoga teacher has changed me. Losing a child has changed me. And perhaps growing older has changed me. For real my growing relationship with God has changed me. Sometimes I feel like I live in my own little world, but I kind of like it here. 

I rebel a little when people talk about the passing of time and the difficulty of growing older. Sure it’s hard on us physically, but emotionally and spiritually it’s way easier (and lots more fun) these days, in my experience anyway. What once felt like really hard challenges seem smaller with the perspective of age. I enjoy knowing, really knowing, that “this, too, shall pass”. Growing older is a privilege and doing it healthfully is a joy. 

As I ponder this new year and people are asking about my resolutions and goals, I find myself balking at this idea as well. Why must I plan and strategize and control and make bold statements about my year to come? 

I do have a trip coming up that I am pretty excited about. Thank you friends and husband for mostly planning the whole thing! I did find a yoga studio I want to visit while I am there. That’s something. I also have some ideas for new children’s books and perhaps another video like the one David Rowen produced for me to go with the book that came out last month. I want to keep teaching yoga and deepen my own practice. I want to continue to learn more about how the practice can interface with my spiritual practices of contemplation, prayer and meditation. I want to practice forgiveness and compassion wherever possible to heal wounds from the past. I want to be there for loved ones who need me and make more time to be truly present for them when asked to be. If acting and voice over jobs show up that seem fun, I look forward to them. They are always welcome challenges.

A couple of years ago I wrote down some goals in a New Year’s Day yoga class. I wrote that I wanted to work on three films that year. Funny, I did work on three films that year. Should have written four. Intentionality is powerful. I am not denying the power of goal setting and visualizing and focus and all that. I like flow. I know flow. I want to be in the flow all of the time. Or at least more of the time. Being in flow means I surrender to the mysterious forces that guide and empower me to move through life and love and work with grace and ease. In my first half of life I tried to control and manipulate and create my life according to my will. My ego believed it was in control and had quite a bit of power. 

Now that I am fully in my second act, the second half of life, I am more content to let things unfold as they want to. It’s more about Thy will over my will. I’m not being lazy, although this past week has been an enjoyable week of rest for me. I am surrendering to the flow and trusting that God’s got my back. She has proven time and time again that She does, so I am done. I am all in. She knows what is best for me and will guide my 2019 whether I plan anything or not. It’s all God and it’s all good. I just need to be open to guidance and be ready to act when the time is right.

When I consider the truth that on this New Year’s Eve Eve as I sit here writing in my kitchen on this computer, in my yoga pants (and my vest and hat - I just went for a run) that at my age I am happy and healthy and so fortunate to be in this life, I am acutely aware of the improbability of it all. And so grateful. So darn grateful that my parents, my sweet loving adorable parents, married almost 62 years now, came together in the nifty fifties, did the deed, sperm and ovum united, became cells that subdivided, then an embryo, a nervous system, a whole body that has been my home for all these years. It’s really pretty amazing to consider the enormity of it all, let alone the idea of the passage of time. 

That said, I have recently read an interesting book by Dan Pink entitled When about how to schedule your life. He shares interesting research findings about why mornings are probably best for a lot of things over afternoons (there are exceptions of course) and how to maximize productivity by planning your day around your “chromatype”. Find out if you are a lark or an owl by checking out this link to determine your circadian rhythm type. Avoid the dreaded “trough”, that time when energy levels bottom out for many reasons. It could save your life if you are having surgery in the afternoon in a hospital that doesn’t practice preventive measures to combat this dangerous phenomenon. Interesting stuff. In his book Pink describes how different people arrange their day to take advantage of optimum times for creativity. I am particular to Tchaikovsky’s daily routine: early waking, walking, breakfast, composing at the piano, a two hour afternoon walk, dinner, light practice, bed. I don’t play or compose like him but I will have to work on my own daily routine as the days get longer. I do believe in getting sunshine when we can during the sunnier winter days. Maybe I will practice the piano more. Thanks Tchaikovsky. Can I call you Pyotr?

Time is a human concept perhaps, but we do have to respect the changing of seasons and the movements of the planets and stars. They have a marked effect on our physical bodies and our psyches. Sensitivity to the external world is part of our human experience. Living in more harmony with the natural world is an intention I am putting out there, especially in this second half of life. To kick this off I am excited to share a Happy Healthy You! podcast, co-hosted with my daughter Caroline Bowman, about living a more zero waste kind of life. We do produce so much waste. I do anyways. I want to do better. She introduced me to her friend and fellow Kinky Boots castmate Julia McClellen who is extraordinarily and contagiously passionate about the subject. We both learned a lot and it was fun to co-host with her. Watch for that podcast toward the end of the month.

OK, so maybe I do have a few resolutions or intentions for 2019.  Whatever. But I am still going to go with the flow, be in the moment and up the faith factor. I trust you will do what's right for you when considering the opportunity for a fresh start that this new year brings.

Whatever your relationship with time, and I am sure it is just perfect for you, I wish you the happiest of New Years, the healthiest of every year from my loving heart to yours. Keep on living your best, most authentic life from one moment to the next and you can’t go wrong. And if you need a little encouragement don’t hesitate to reach out to me or someone else you trust.

We are here for one another. Trust me, I am old. I know these things.

Namaste,

Connie

Connie Bowman is an actress, author, host of the podcast Happy Healthy You! and yoga teacher who teaches at various places around Howard County, MD. For more about her visit www.conniebowman.com.