Traditions

The Christmas season has so many traditions attached to it, the familiar carols being one of them. I know most of them well as a professional caroler for more than fifteen years. Dressed in traditional Victorian costumes quartets traveled, soprano, alto, tenor, and bass, to private parties, public celebrations, grand foyers of government and corporate buildings. We sang outside in cold, wind, rain, and snow and inside senior centers and assisted living facilities where the temperatures were toasty warm.

A couple of years into my retirement from this gracious a cappella group I look back with fondness on the memories of singing these beloved carols for thousands of (mostly) grateful audiences.

Sometimes we would come upon people, like at a mall or shopping center, taking them by surprise. Seeing the delight in their eyes was gratifying as they softened into the spirit of what we were offering. Oftentimes people were moved to tears hearing the familiar melodies. Many people sang right along with us over the years, even the souls in the nursing homes whose memories had long faded but could from somewhere deep inside retrieve the words to these carols.

What is it about a tradition that is so comforting?

My daughter and son-in-law live in a primarily Jewish Orthodox section of New York City. There is a beautiful synagogue on the corner opposite their 1928 apartment building. Many of the people who live in their building are elderly immigrant Jews who keep kosher and practice the traditions of old. They have their ways and they are staunch defenders of their traditions.

I find it comforting that my young newlywed children are surrounded by this community with rich cultural and religious values and traditions. They are slowly getting to know their neighbors and their customs and finding an appreciation for the sweetness and gentleness of their practices. There is respect and honor and a genuine curiosity there. 

As we enter into this last week of holiday preparation and shopping fervor I wonder if you have taken a moment to appreciate the traditions from your past that have given you comfort. Perhaps it’s not the carols for you.  If not, what brings you comfort and joy during the holiday season? Is it a particular dish once lovingly prepared by a beloved grandmother? What do you know of that dish? How is it woven into your story and heritage?

At a Thompson family cookie exchange last week I found out that my grandfather, my father's father, loved kippers for breakfast on Christmas morning. I didn’t know much about the fish that my grandmother soaked overnight in a pan of water on the counter of their sprawling kitchen in Maxton, North Carolina. My grandfather was of Scottish descent and eating those kippers no doubt brought him comfort and a connection to his ancestry. Oh, and grits. We always had grits. In that same conversation my cousin, the senior of our group, reminded me that when my grandmother passed away the only memento my father asked for was the double boiler in which my Granny prepared the grits for breakfast. We forgo the kippers, but each Christmas morning my Dad is in charge of fixing a big pot of southern-style butter-drenched grits.

In a conversation on the Happy Healthy You! podcast last week I spoke with author Anna Gatmon, Ph.D. about bringing more spirituality and meaning into our holiday celebrations. She offers some great ideas for gift giving and meal sharing for those of us who appreciate tradition and meaning and memory-making. Take a listen here and let me know if any of these ideas resonate with you. Perhaps you have your own ideas to share. 

May you enjoy this upcoming holiday and perhaps find comfort, joy, and peace in celebrating traditions that serve you and your loved ones. Maybe you will even belt out a few carols while you finish wrapping those gifts.

Merry Christmas. 

Peace, Shalom, Namaste,

Connie

Connie Bowman is an actress, author, host of the podcast Happy Healthy You! and yoga teacher who teaches at various places around Howard County, MD. For more about her visit www.conniebowman.com.