How Can We Keep From Singing?

Back when my daughter Meghan was two and first diagnosed with congenital heart disease, our kind pediatrician suggested he introduce our family to another family who had, not one, but two children with a similar prognosis. At the time, I was not ready to look at the truth of what was in front of us. I could barely handle the news of our daughter's diagnosis. How could I possibly hear about another family with what was surely twice the anxiety and grief? It was overwhelming and scary and so, instead of reaching out, I resisted, avoiding what could have been an invaluable relationship. Knowing these other kids might have offered comfort and friendship for my daughter. I might have been inspired by this other family. I might have grown. I never did meet that family but I often think about them, even so many years after Meghan's death. 

I am a different person now. I think I would choose differently, or I hope I would. In this time when we are socially distanced and socially challenged to evolve, I wonder what would happen if we were collectively able to really see the difficult truths that are before us. If so, maybe we would be inspired. Maybe we would grow.

Pandemic and pandemonium are similar words. Ever thought of that? I know. Never really had to before. I'm no expert, but a quick search shows that in there somewhere is the root word "da" which means to divide. 

In these perilous times so many things are rising up to conscious level as we are spending more time on our screens. Just for fun, let's say our screens represent our consciousness, individual and collective. If so, we are seeing some disturbing images coming up to the surface. 

To be healthy and whole, collectively and individually, we must acknowledge the deeper, darker aspects of our nature, and I would even gently, and ever so sweetly suggest that we might invite them in for a nice cup of tea. Anger  and fear are natural human responses to threat. But eventually we need to see the truth if we want to grow as individuals and as a species.

Enough words?

But that shadow has been serving you!
What hurts you, blesses you.
Darkness is your candle.
Your boundaries are your quest.
You must have shadow and light source both.
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.

 ~~Rumi

I would like to propose that as we begin to open up while the virus is still making contact with human bodies that vary in their immune response, personally and collectively we are being pushed to the edge of our comfort zones. This stress is manifesting in ways that are exposing truths, both personally and collectively.

As a culture, we see injustice. As individuals we witness bad behavior.

As a culture we see expressions of anger. As individuals we experience mounting rage.

As a culture we see death. As individuals we know grief.

As a culture we see fear. As individuals we feel profoundly uncertain, anxious and frustrated.

Yesterday, my daughter called me crying, grief-stricken, because she could not imagine her best friend, a lovely black man, living with racism such that we are seeing on our screens.

This morning my son expressed to me his frustration at having to make hard decisions and keep customers and employees safe at his place of business.

My parents are safe in their home, but so very fearful, as they watch large numbers of people dismissing social distancing guidelines. 

I am seeing the collective pain body as reflected on my screen. I am also seeing the individual pain body in my everyday world.

No doubt, you are as well. 

I am white (in this incarnation anyway) and so my journey has been easier than it has for some of my black friends. I need to see that. I need to examine why this is so. I need to face the evil that has been buried for generations. It's time the truth surfaced. Not easy during a pandemic, but why not? Google some black history. I implore you.

It’s hard to witness our lower nature. It’s painful. We can see how powerless we can be when up against it. 

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.               

 ~~Psalm 139

What have we learned from the brilliant 12 steppers in our midst? We are powerless, mostly, against this lower nature. We must repent and ask forgveness. Also, we need each another. We need a higher power. There are a few more, but this gets us started.

We also need a collective breath, taken by each of us, preferably in unison.

We need collective prayer. 

As a culture, together, we are a force. 

We are strongest together. 

Let’s breathe together. Let’s pray together.

Three deep inhales and complete exhales can go a long way.

What I know from my own personal devastating grief is that praying together and for one another does more good than we can begin to fathom. When we finally are bought to our knees, that’s when transformation and rebirth are right on the horizon. Prayer doesn’t have to be perfect, just honest, real, sincere.

Perhaps something like this…

Loving, infinite presence, we are witnessing so much death, injustice, chaos, and confusion. This has happened before in our history but, for some reason, it feels more difficult than ever. It feels like we are reaching our breaking point. Show us the truth. Allow us to see what is really behind the anger. Show us how to soften towards one another and, more importantly to your will; that which is ultimately in our collective best interest. We are desperate. We are good people trying our best to make our world a place of happiness, goodness, peace, fairness, beauty and love. Help us now. Help each of us now. Help all of us. And help us to notice when you show up in even the smallest of ways. Inspire us to be better, to do better, to love better. Oh, and thank you. Amen.

We don't have to be Carl Jung to see what is happening. Deep down we really do know. 

We know collectively. We know individually. We’re just too stressed and confused to access that awareness.

We need to look honestly and compassionately at what is on our screen. We need to breathe. We need to pray. 

We need to be united.

A Blessing for these Times

As a culture we are wearing masks, as individuals may we gaze deeply into the eyes in front of us in search of the infinite soul residing there. 

As a culture we have seen the earth get cleaner, may we be better stewards of our planet as we move forward.

As a culture, we have found that we can work from home, eliminating the need to spend precious hours commuting, may we be more protective of the time we have.

As a culture we have learned to reach out in creative ways and stay in touch when physical presence is not possible. May we continue to create new ways to connect in love and in the best interest of our grieving global family. 

As culture we are seeing science and technology working to develop solutions. May each of us use our unique gifts to contribute in our own way to the cause of a more equitable, loving and whole humanity. 

As a culture, we have witnessed heroic people in service to others; from healthcare workers to grocery store employees to trash collectors and many others. May we show ample gratitude and continue to express gratitude to one another as this pandemic fades from memory.

We must do better work and not stop until racism is eliminated. That's a non-negotiable.
There is still so much good in our world. Like a blip on a radar screen, Cover-19 will one day be but a distant memory. Racism is a virus that also must be wiped out completely. In the past, great discoveries and human advancements have come out of such challenges. We were made for this, we crazy, imperfect, stubborn, resilient human beings.  

Imagine the whole of humanity on one giant Zoom screen; colorful, different, smiling, concerned, loving faces. There we are, right there united, all on the same screen. Can you see it? Can you hear it?

How can we keep from singing? We cannot. And you can't stop forward momentum...

Love and Peace to you!

Connie Bowman is an actress, podcast host, yoga teacher, and author of several books, including There's an Elephant in My Bathtub, Super Socks and Back to Happy. Follow her on Instagram @conniebowmanactressauthoryogi

or visit www.conniebowman.com
Join her for yoga Tuesday evenings here.