Trying for the Kingdom

 He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches. ~~Mt. 13:31-32

The Kingdom of Heaven (aka the Kingdom of God) is a difficult concept to grasp. But oh, how we Christians try. And try. And try…

And you know what they say about trying: If at first you don't succeed...

Just what is this enigmatic kingdom the Gospel writers point us to? Is it even a what? Is it a place? If so, where is it? Can it be found on a map? 

Obviously, these are facetious, rhetorical questions. 

Jesus describes the Kingdom of Heaven in many different ways to help us better understand and perhaps draw closer to its true essence. Easy for him, Jesus lives there. Jesus embodies the kingdom, this enlightened way of being that is not of this world. He offers it graciously, making it accessible to us. He lays it out in his teachings, his actions, and indeed in his very body. Like the disciples, Jesus invites us to follow him. By his very public death, Jesus demonstrates how we have all but lost the plot. By his death on a cross between two criminals, Jesus stares injustice, shame, blame, pain, suffering, and grief right in the face. He does this for us and for all humanity.

“Forgive them,” Jesus prays. They just do not get it. 

All these years later, sadly, we still don’t seem to get it.

But we can do this. We can follow the way of Jesus into the kingdom here and now. I believe in us. 

What if we still ourselves enough to feel our bodies and our breath again? What if we took just a few moments each day to reconnect with the powerful force of love that brought us here to this very moment?

What if, like Jesus, we listened regularly for the voice of the Spirit? What would we hear? What if we took time daily to be still, as the psalmist writes, and know the generous, loving presence inviting us to become the love, the true essence, of who we were created to be.

Will you try with me? Start by closing your eyes. 

Imagine yourself in a beautiful environment, your favorite place or something even better! Go a little rogue here. Let your imagination run wild. 

Notice your surroundings. What do you see? Feel the temperature of the air. How does it feel against your skin? What do you hear? What do you smell? How does the air feel as it enters your nostrils in this magical place? Allow yourself to settle in. Feel the support of the surface beneath you. You are safe here. Feel the spaciousness all around you. You have room to grow here. 

See if you can find a still point here to just breathe deeply of this sacred environment.

As you exhale, soften the body wherever you can. As your next breath fills you with fresh, enlivening energy, will you accept the fullness of this gift? Pause to notice your initial response. 

As you exhale again, a bit more slowly this time around, notice how it feels to let go of the breath you held inside in the previous moment? Just notice. Try again. Thankfully, we get to keep trying.

Allow the breath to flow more naturally now. Try to stay still. Linger for just a little longer, if you are able.

Listen for the whisper of the Holy. 

Like God, this meditation is always here for you. Keep practicing, trying for the kingdom, my friends. The world needs your presence, perhaps now more than ever.

We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and the divine is shining through it all the time. — Thomas Merton💛

Best Laid Plans

"The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."

~~Robert Burns

Are you a man or a mouse? I am neither but I can relate to this quote by poet Robert Burns. My plan to meditate every morning and evening has gone awry, several times actually.

This video is part of my plan to bring meditation back into my life on a regular basis. I already practice yoga. I have other regular spiritual practices like prayer and sacred reading. I am even thinking seminary might be in my future. So why is meditating so difficult? Are you with me on this?

Problem is you gotta do it. I have been an on and off meditator since my twenties when I began suffering from anxiety and panic attacks. This year, blessed 2020, was my year to reinstate meditation. It didn’t happen in January. February came and went with no remarkable improvement. And then Covid-19 and the quarantine happened. 

Back in 2015 I interviewed Dr. Sara Lazar, the Harvard scientist who researched meditation and other integrative modalities to find out just what benefits they had to offer. Dr. Lazar found significant benefits from regular meditation practice. That video is here: https://youtu.be/xGvGbKuzQf8. 

I know it's good for me in so many ways; physically, emotionally, spiritually...

You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day, unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour.

~~Zen Saying

Still, I admit it has been a bit of a struggle. 

So I don’t have a perfect daily practice. I am practicing though. I invite you to join me.

But first, let’s practice a little yoga to loosen our joints and prepare the body and mind for a sweet, imperfect, short little meditation.

We can do this! 

Was it good for you? Let me know :)

Yoga is for everyone. However, while practicing with a video it is up to you to assess whether the class you have chosen is right for you. Please modify as needed and if you suffer from any specific injuries or diseases you should consult with your medical practitioner before practicing. Enjoy!

Namaste,

Connie

www.conniebowman.com

Silence and Speaking Up

Photo credit: Rick Kain

To see the Moon that cannot be seen

Turn your eyes inward

and look at yourself,
in silence.

In this world and the next,
Don’t talk about this and that;

Let him show you everything,

shining as one . . . in silence.

~~ Rumi

In yoga there is inherently an awareness of  a union of opposites; right and left, heaven and earth, in breath and out breath, silence and sound...We practice noticing the dualities or seeming opposites so that eventually we can transcend them. This we practice in different ways, asana, breath work, chanting, etc. With practice we can find a balance that can help us move gracefully even off our mats.

As we are using our voices to speak words that help proclaim that black lives matter, as a white woman (in this incarnation anyway!) I am acutely aware that silence can be dangerous to my black and brown brothers and sisters and my words are needed. However I am also aware that there needs to be deliberate, conscious silence between the words to assure that what I am saying is intentionally kind, and helpful and just. To speak simply for the sake of speaking runs the risk of our intended meaning being lost in translation.

Recently my husband shared a childhood memory of visiting a family in Germany, the experience clearly a formative one for him. The family lived on a dairy farm and, for some reason that my husband could not explain, his military parents who were stationed there dropped him off to spend an entire weekend. He recalled that his hosts, while very hospitable did not speak a word of english. He talked about feeling uncomfortable at first but eventually he relaxed and played games with the children where language was not a barrier. He recalls sleeping in a feather bed with a mattress on top of him instead of a blanket. They ate German food and drank fresh milk from the farm. In the morning when the mom asked my husband how he had slept, in German of course, it took a while to figure out what she had been trying to ask.  Eventually he understood, gave them a thumbs up sign and they all had a good laugh. 

Somehow, despite the language barrier, they showed him a good time and he learned about farm life in a small German town and about hospitality and caring for our fellow humans.

Similarly, several years ago I attended a ten day silent Vipassana meditation course. I signed up in advance and was put on a waiting list as these ten day courses are extremely popular. When I was notified that a spot had opened up during the upcoming month, I quickly rearranged my schedule so that I could attend.

I was a little nervous. Ten days was a lot of time to spend mostly in silent meditation. It actually went pretty well. I produced a podcast about the experience. You can check it out here.

What I want to talk about here though is the revelation I had at the end of the retreat when we were finally able to talk to our fellow participants. Although all of us were women, the group of us, about 20 total, were from all walks of life, different nationalities, socioeconomic groups and age ranges. We slept together in small rooms of three. My twin bed was in the middle of two others. My bunkmates were an Indian woman and another of Chinese descent. We didn’t speak as we made our beds and set out our things in our small quarters. We communicated non-verbally about logistics like storage space and bathroom sharing. It was interesting and challenging at first but as time went on, we got into a comfortable groove.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

~~Henry David Thoreau

By the end of the retreat, we had adopted a very sweet, very compatible co-existence. When one of us left the room while the others were sleeping or meditating, we made sure to close the door lightly. We respected each other’s space and privacy when needed. We ate meals together in quiet mindful appreciation of the food and one another’s company. Somehow, without even speaking a word, strangers became friends. 

True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. 

— David Tyson Gentry

On the morning of the last day when we broke our silence and we were finally officially able to talk with one another, we were excited to share our experience, get to know one another and compare our early impressions to what we were now learning about one another. It was fascinating. I learned that my Indian roommate had two young boys and that she was the last member of her family to attend the Vipassana training. My other roommate had no children and worked as a scientist at a lab not far from my home. Most of us admitted to having certain ideas about the others in the group that changed as we neared the end of the ten days.

What I learned at that silent meditation retreat will stay with me for the rest of my life. Among many things, I learned that I make assumptions about people pretty quickly with little to go on but visual and verbal cues. I learned that although communication is essential to positive social interaction, words can sometimes get in the way. I learned that we can develop quality relationships with others who may seem different, by simply being present with them. I learned that caring for one another and mutual respect go a long way toward creating a peaceful, harmonious environment. No words were necessary for small acts of kindness.

In the absence of words however I was made acutely aware of the power of the word. The words we choose can heal or they can hurt. We must, in these times use our words to speak up against racism. Enough is truly enough. 

Ecclesiastes 3:7

a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak

In the silence between our words, may we choose well. 
May we correct ourselves quickly when we choose poorly.
May our hearts be open to listen, especially when words fail us.
May our words contribute to a better, more loving world.
May these words that I write contribute in some way to the healing
of our black and brown brothers and sisters that they may know peace, serenity, safety, abundance and happiness.
May all beings everywhere be united as one family.

History will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people. 
~~Martin Luther King, Jr.

Connie Bowman is an actress, podcast host, yoga teacher, and author of several books, including There's an Elephant in My Bathtub, Super Socks and Back to Happy. Follow her on Instagram @conniebowmanactressauthoryogior visit www.conniebowman.comJoin her for yoga Tuesday evenings here.

That Still Small Voice

For this week’s yoga classes we are working to remove obstacles to hearing our inner voices more clearly. Our deepest knowing is always for our highest good.  Some people might call that still small inner voice the higher self. Some call it intuition. I call it God. In this video with my dear friend and priest Dina Van Klaveran she says that God is always talking to us. It’s our job to clear away those things that get in the way of hearing that voice. For me, yoga helps. Meditation and contemplation helps. Yoga’s not a problem for me. I teach so I have to practice. And I do love the practice and the way it makes my body feel; flexible, relaxed and free to move about the world. Sitting still and meditating is a whole different thing.

We know the benefits of meditation and quieting the mind. It reduces stress and can be healing on all levels; spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. Blood pressure can lower which affects the health of so many of our organs. Our brain function is enhanced with meditation, helping with addictions, progressive diseases of the brain and body like Parkinsons, Alzheimers and dementia. There is much research to back this up and this video with Dr. Sara Lazar was especially enlightening to me back when I was just learning to be a yoga teacher.

I have become quite proficient at meditation procrastination. It’s a thing. Here are just some of the many distractions I will create to avoid meditating. I will…

cook

eat

drink wine

clean out my closet

talk on the phone

text

watch HGTV

online shop

listen to audiobooks, podcasts

run/walk while I listen to audiobooks, podcasts

think about meditating

ruminate about not meditating

almost everything else

Any of these familiar to you? Can you add to the list? Go for it!

Hearing that still small voice has become even more important for me, especially as I age and feel the need to tune in more deeply to stay present to my body to prevent injury, to know what my body needs for nourishment and, most importantly for me,  to stay connected to the Creator, the source of my spiritual guidance. 

Several years ago I planned to go to New York City to visit my daughter Caroline who had only been there for a couple of weeks to pursue her acting career. Dropping her off in that huge city was difficult for me and her father, as you can imagine. She was young and full of innocence and ambition. I prayed she was listening to that still small voice to keep her safe as she walked the streets off Manhattan, especially at night. 

As I got ready to get in my car to head for the BWI train station, I heard a small voice telling me to go back in the house and grab the flip camera ( I loved my Flip. It was HD 1080P, excellent sound and video, and had a handy USB port for easy transfer to the computer. How I miss my Flip!) on the kitchen counter. It was very specific instruction so I paid attention. I put the camera in my purse and headed out to board the  9 AM train to NYC. Little did I know that later on that day on the corner of 45th and 9th (or 10th) Ave. my daughter would get her first offer to be in a Broadway show. Had I not been paying attention to that still small voice I wouldn’t have had my Flip with me (my phone was a flip phone too at that time. No video on that ancient device!) and I wouldn’t have been able to whip it out and take this precious video which let us share her contagious, very genuine joy with family and friends. I remember someone asking me if she was acting in this video. I had to laugh. It was the realest real deal. It was a moment to savor and, because I listened I was able to capture it on video. I did edit it a bit and add a recording she had previously made of her singing the role she would soon be playing in Wicked on Broadway.

I have had many other experiences like this, but this one stands out for me as particularly special. Sometimes our still small voice doesn’t get our attention and it might start speaking louder until it manifests as a problem. And sometimes, as Oprah used to like to say on her show, it hits you like a brick right upside the head! That’s never fun.

It’s much easier to listen to and respond promptly to the quiet, loving nudge in the direction of our best life.

Mary Oliver says it so well in her famous poem The Journey:

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice--

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

"Mend my life!"

each voice cried.

But you didn't stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do--

determined to save

the only life you could save.

So we practice. I am sorry to say we have to keep up the practice. I wish it were easier. So I am recommitting to my meditation practice, starting this week. If you have a Lenten practice, this might coincide nicely for you. 

Here’s to that still small voice. May we be open to the sweet whisper from the One who loves us so dearly and only wants what’s best for us. May we be still enough, often enough, to discern that voice from the louder, harsher voices that intrude on our peace from a very broken world. And may we all know that peace, the true peace that passes all understanding and pass it around as needed.

Peace and Namaste.

Breath and Happiness

“Remember to breathe. It is after all, the  secret of life.” 

~~ Gregory Maguire, A Lion Among Men

A lot of us walk around with neck, shoulder and back pain. It’s almost epidemic in this culture that spends much of its time slumped over a computer or steering wheel. Aside from the problem of inactivity there is a subtler influence this is having on us that can affect our minds, our bodies and our spirits. 

In a July, 2009 edition of the Journal Cephalalgia, a pilot study on dysfunction of breathing in chronic neck pain patients resulted in findings that chronic neck patients have decreased breathing capacity as well as poor breathing muscle strength. They also found a significant association between forward head posture and low breathing muscle strength in neck pain patients. They consider the relationship between breathing and neck pain to be an important factor in the assessment of neck pain patients, as well as in rehabilitation and medication use. In a June, 2013 edition of the Manual Therapy Journal, a study was performed to assess breathing weakness in association with chronic neck pain. The authors noted that individuals suffering chronic neck pain have weak respiratory muscles. They advise professionals treating chronic neck pain patients to consider breathing assessment and also treatment when necessary. 

Interesting findings, but we yogis knew that!

Correct breathing from the diaphragm is essential to our health and even our happiness I would venture to say.

Take a moment and just notice how you breathe. Is it shallow? Do you use your neck muscles when you inhale? How long does it take you to finish a full breath? Notice any movement in the belly, ribs and lungs. There should be some.

The way we breathe is crucial to our health. Breath brings us oxygen for our cells and restores us to balance. Each inhale is an opportunity to reboot our systems. Each exhale releases waste products from our body. It’s something we all must do but most take for granted.

“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts. Whenever your mind becomes scattered, use your breath as the means to take hold of your mind again.” 

~~Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

A series of good long deep breaths calm the nervous system. We send a signal to the brain that it’s time to relax. We are better able to think more clearly, to rest and digest. 

All the Yogi, Sufi and Taoist masters as well as the early Christian monks and mystics focused on the breath and used the it in their prayers and rituals. In fact, one would be hard-pressed to find any genuine spiritual teacher or path that does not teach the vital importance of breath.

“And Lord God took the dust of the earth, and formed the body  of man; and breathed into the nostrils of man the Breath of Life; and man became a living soul.” 

~~Genesis 2:7

Please join me for yoga where we practice breath and movement to become more aware of patterns that can hold us back and keep us from living full, happy healthy lives. To find a class visit my website: http://conniebowman.com/yoga.php.

Happy healthy breathing my friends and Namaste,

Connie

Five Tips for Staying Happy and Healthy this Holiday Season

1. The frenzy of the holidays falls during the time of year that we are naturally supposed to be going inward for introspection, rest, reflection and preparation. We allow ourselves to be pulled in different directions during this darkest time, perhaps as a way of distracting us from the impending darkness. If we embrace the darkness and let it inform us, this season can be a time of supreme creativity and birthing the new. Go within each day to meditate, pray, journal or simply find stillness. Allow this time to be sacred for you. Keep the inner lamp lit. With practice, outer distractions will fade. This is the key to peace. Here's some inspiration in the podcast about tapping into our gentle centers every day.

2. Eat mindfully. Consciously choosing our food, preparing it with love and expressing gratitude before we eat are all good ways to practice mindfulness around eating. With so many temptations and distractions during the holiday season, a mindful routine is more important than ever. Eating a meal in silence allows us to focus on flavors, the textures, the colors, and the nourishing qualities of the food in front of us. Asking ourselves what we are really hungry for cuts right to the core of our true longing. Is it really food or is it a deeper spiritual or emotional longing that brings us to the table? For more inspiration, listen to our podcast with Julie Reisler.


3. Keep up your regular exercise routine if you can or try something different. No rules, just move the body every day. Try a new yoga class. There are so many yoga classes from gentle restorative to hot and sweaty vinyasa. Find a new class and a new teacher. A little yoga will help us all stay in balance in mind, body and spirit during this crazy time of year. Listen to this podcast about the many benefits of yoga and some ideas for stress relief and healing with one of my favorite yogis, Ashley Litecky Elenbaas.


4. Remember to play, laugh and enjoy the holidays. Lighten up during this darkest time of the year. That's the point, right? Christ came to bring light to a broken world. Hanukkah is all about keeping those lamps lit! Here's a podcast to make you laugh and another to remind you to lighten up during this joyous and sacred time of the year.


5. Give. It's a time of giving to those we love. But don't forget those who may be hurting or less fortunate this holiday season. Donate to your favorite church or charity. Remember the ill or the grieving by giving the gift of a visit, a note or a book like Back to Happy. Giving to others has benefits for our own health and wellness, booting mood and immunity. Here's one idea for giving back in this holiday with one of my favorite charities, My Girlfriend's House.

However you and yours celebrate the holidays this year, may they bring you joy, peace and lots of love. And may your good vibes raise the vibes out in the world. God knows we can use it. 
Namaste.