Money or Love? - A Holy Week Meditation

John 12:1-11

Six days before the Passover Jesus came to Bethany, the home of Lazarus, whom he had raised from the dead. There they gave a dinner for him. Martha served, and Lazarus was one of those at the table with him. Mary took a pound of costly perfume made of pure nard, anointed Jesus' feet, and wiped them with her hair. The house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. 
But Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was about to betray him), said, 
"Why was this perfume not sold for three hundred denarii and the money given to the poor (He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; 
he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.) Jesus said, "Leave her alone. She bought it so that she might keep it for the day of my burial. You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me." When the great crowd of the Jews learned that he was there, they came not only because of Jesus but also to see Lazarus, 
whom he had raised from the dead. So the chief priests planned to put Lazarus to death as well, since it was on account of him that many of the Jews were deserting and were believing in Jesus.

JUSTIN IDE/GETTY IMAGES

Fame can be a scary thing. I've been watching Love Story, the John Kennedy, Jr. and Carolyn Bessette story on Hulu. The kind of adulation and attention the Kennedy family received was over-the-top. Poor John, Jr., and Carolyn couldn't get a break. In the early months of their marriage, they didn't even have a chance to get used to their new relationship, to fall into some kind of routine. These and more are the hazards of celebrity.

I used to think I wanted to be famous. I loved performing. Don't get me wrong, I was terrified by the prospect, but the joy I found in embodying a character on stage was like nothing else I had experienced. Eventually, I made my way into the on-camera and voiceover industry, where I had a small amount of success. This was enjoyable as well, but different. There wasn't time to dig into a character. This work required more mindful attention, as time is money in this industry, and the stress is heightened. I remember being on set one day and overhearing a director denigrate a female star, saying she was one of "the most overpaid, underrated actresses in the industry." It was such an unkind statement that it took the joy out of being there.

The final straw for me came when I was asked at the last minute to do a political commercial. I was in over my head with this one. I wasn't aligned with the candidate the production team was promoting, and I am ashamed to say I had no clue about the opponent they were trying to take down. There was backlash, and it was aimed at me, the actor. I was shocked, but in retrospect I should not have been. Politics and media can be a ruthless combination. 

I had to ask myself. Was I in this for the love or for the money?

That's when I quit.

After the raising of Lazarus, Jesus was getting a little too famous for the powers that be. The writing was on the wall, and He knew it. Mary seemed to know it as well as she poured her expensive oils on Jesus' feet and wiped them with her hair. Some of the disciples, bless their hearts, were as clueless as I, including, it seems, Judas, who saw a way to profit from Jesus' celebrity and his own inner-circle status.

In the end, we all must reckon for ourselves. What do we love and value
most? What are we willing to risk it all for? What will that cost us?